My guest today is a speaker, coach, and co-host of āThe Best Lifeā podcast. Sheās also been a friend of mine for almost 25 years ā Danny J.
And I know I said I was going to keep these episodes short, but sometimes in an interview thereās so much good content, you just donāt want to cut anything.Ā
Amanda: Well thank you for being my first guest. Iām very excited to have you here. You have this really great āFind the Money Projectā that is super relevant to whatās going on right now, so weāll talk a lot about that. But, a little bit of background⦠Iāve known you since high school, which is kind of exciting that weāre still in this world together and able to connect.
Danny: It really is.
Amanda: And youāve helped me with some of my business stuff. Youāre one of the people I mentioned in one of my other episodes about telling me that I should do more on camera stuff even though I donāt want to, soā¦
Danny: Look, youāre so beautiful and youāre giving the world a gift to see that. And you know, people connect when they can see you. Itās really interesting. So, Iām glad you are.
Amanda: Well, thank you. And speaking of connecting, you have a lot of strong points that I could highlight, but one of the huge things that always resonates with me is your willingness to share your story. And by story, I donāt mean just how you got to where you are, but I mean your story. Things that youāve gone through that most people donāt talk about. I mean, I could go through a list. You got pregnant at 15.
Danny: Yep.
Amanda: Gave that child up for adoption. You were suicidal. As you were a gymnast, you became paralyzed and lost a large amount of time. You got married, he had an affair – while you were packed up and living out of an RV.
Danny: Yep.
Amanda: You found out that your dad wasnāt actually your dad, and then you met all sorts of your biological half-siblings.
Danny: Yes.
Amanda: And, through all of this, you now are in a very healthy relationship, your business is thriving. You talk about all of this. And that list⦠And right there, if you want to know more about that list, check out āThe Best Lifeā podcast because she talks about all of it.
Danny: Yep.
Amanda: How did you come to a point where you decided you could talk about this stuff so openly?
Danny: Oh my gosh. Well itās so funny when you just knock it off in a list. I was just talking to my boyfriend the other day, and he goes, āYou never, you donāt really talk about when you were paralyzed, or you donāt talk about this part of your story.ā And I said, āI know because I feel like itās so much for one person, it starts to feel unbelievable.ā And I was like, āIf it didnāt happen to me, I would think this was like some kind of movie. It seems like too much.ā
But the point online that I remember very specifically⦠I was actually a personal trainer, so after⦠not to just brush over the story, but I kind of have to⦠I became paralyzed⦠I was an acrobat at Sea World, I got a bacterial infection and I couldnāt walk for a year. And I started to rehabilitate myself through going to the gym and, like, literally just sitting on a bike and pushing my legs around with my hands.
And through that process, I became a trainer, and got into the fitness industry. And I think when youāre a trainer, I think a lot of trainers feel this way, itās like you feel like you have to look the part. So I was doing extreme body fitness competitions where youāre just judged by how lean you are and how fit you are. And you have to be on such a strict regimented diet and workout plan, and I did this for like seven years. And during that time, things got so strict that it actually started to hurt my body.Ā
So itās interesting because we see these health and fitness gurus out there, and a lot of them are probably the most unhealthy people youāve ever really known. And so my body started to shut down, and what was really happening was I started to gain weight super rapidly. And I was doing like two hours of cardio a day, spending three hours a day in the gym. I was eating 1000 calories. So on paper, you know they say eat less, work out more. I shouldāve been⦠not gaining. And instead I was gaining – I gained about 30 pounds in just about two months.
And so it was during that time⦠Iām a trainer, Iām feeling embarrassed. Iām like, whoās gonna hire me because I do weight loss coaching yet Iām gaining weight? And so, I was feeling like a fraud and I was seeing this happen in this fitness industry, where a lot of these competitors, I meet them offline or in person, and they did not look like how they looked in pictures. They were very overweight. And I was like, you know what, something is going on here and nobodyās saying anything.
And now, mind you, this industry too is very tight and itās⦠political, I guess, is the only way to put it. Like, I found out as I went on people would win if they knew somebody, and there was a lot of that kind of stuff happening. So for me to speak out, I was also basically throwing away my chance at ever turning pro. And that was my goal. Everybody wanted to earn their pro card. And there was just a day where a girl DMād me and she was telling me how she had gained all this weight, and I was just like, I canāt do this anymore.
And so I literally opened up my laptop, I put on the camera and I just started⦠I think it was like a 20 minute video⦠and I just started talking about what was going on. I was so embarrassed and I just said, like, hereās whatās happening to our bodies, and hereās whatās happening to mine, and I donāt know what Iām gonna do about it, but Iām going to try to find an answer for myself and for all of you that are struggling. And then I put it up on YouTube, and I remember slamming my computer and going to my room and crying. I didnāt want to look because I was like, thatās it. Career suicide. Iām done.
And the next day I opened it up and I had like 200 emails from people saying, āOh my gosh. This is happening to me, too. Oh my gosh, I canāt believe youāre going through this as well.ā And a lot of pros were saying it and theyāre like, āYou know, because of who I am, I canāt talk about this. Iām so glad you did.ā
And that was the first time I was like, oh, this actually really connects with people. And itās around that year⦠that was 2012, I want to say⦠in 2013 I just got this idea that if thereās something I donāt want to talk about, that is exactly what I have to talk about. And so it almost became this challenge to myself, if something was uncomfortable Iām like, oh sh*t, I guess Iām going to have to say it.Ā
And I realized that every time I did that, almost every time I had the same experience. I wanted to shut the laptop, run and cry to my room. And I cried in my room. But, I would say, 100% of the time I shared those scary things⦠were the things that really connected me with people. And most of the time I got, āThank you for saying this. Iām glad Iām not alone. Iām so glad you shared this. This happened to me, too, or I know someone.ā
And then, you know, starting āThe Best Lifeā podcast, that was really the piece. It was embarrassing to share about my marriage ending because I had that kind of marriage that I feel like everyone was like, whatās your secret? And I thought the same! So it was just as⦠probably more shocking to me than anyone else! But it was one of those things where, you know, you see people online having these fake lives, and acting like theyāre great and you know their marriage is sh*tty, but mine wasnāt like that.
And I was like, wait a second, how did this happen? And so that was one of the⦠again, going back to talking about things I didnāt want to talk about⦠I didnāt know how to share that. It was super embarrassing. I took my time before I did, and got to process it, and work through counselling, and all of that. But, again, I thought, who can relate to this? And I got dozens and dozens of emails just saying thank you. And even people who hadnāt been through an affair just saying like, I can understand the feelings of loss, of grief, of those feelings. And I think people really connect to stories and they connect to feelings. And so once I started⦠not that I couldnāt stop, but I feel compelled to.
And I think, and we always say this in āThe Best Life,ā is if it can just help one person, then itās worth it. And so now itās just become part of who I am, and part of how I show up is going out there, putting myself on the line, and itās scary but I think if it just helps one person, then itās always worth it.
Amanda: Thatās a good motivation to have for that, because thereās what we do see online with all the perfectly curated lives and ālook at all these great things Iām doing.ā Thereās that sense of phoniness where you want everybodyās lives to be that great, but we know that thereās stuff going on beneath the surface, and thatās the stuff that we connect with more.
And I know, for me, trust is a huge thing. And even in business, if Iām going to work with somebody, I need to believe them. I need to know that theyāre honest, that they share the same values that I have. And I get that from someone like you versus someone that has the perfect model-y photos and things are so great all the time. And itās not that I want to hear the bad things all the time either. Some people are comfortable sharing that, some donāt want it on their platforms. Neither one is wrong. But I think thereās a lot of courage that comes from it.
And in business, thereās this big thing where you have to push yourself out of your comfort zone to really get to where you want to be. And thatās⦠like this right now, this is hard for me. Iāve talked to you a million times. I could talk to you for hours. But for some reason thereās a camera and there are microphones and then Iām shaky and itās likeā¦Oh. Itās so weird. And I donāt feel in my head, Iām not nervous about this. Itās completely fine. But itās out of my comfort zone just enough and thatās why I know that I have to do it.
Danny: Yes! And I love that because that was the thing. Itās like that⦠if it is out of your comfort zone, I feel like itās this universal trigger to be like hey, maybe this is what you should be doing. And that was really what it came down to. I was like, if I am scared of it, then maybe I need to push myself toward that.
I learned this analogy this summer, which I love. I went up to Wyoming – my boyfriend had a startup up there. We went through Yellowstone and we saw lots of buffalo and it was really cool. And I was talking to some friends about this, and at our friendās work, they started this thing called āBe the Buffalo.ā And what they mean is⦠if thereās a storm coming over the plains, cows will see the storm coming and they will run away from the storm. And because theyāre running away, theyāre gonna be in the storm longer ācause itās, like, tagging behind them. Where buffalos will run towards the storm, in the direction of the storm. So when the storm is passing over them, they actually get through the storm faster because theyāre going into it and it passes over.
And so this analogy is just like ābe the buffalo.ā Go into the hard things. Do the hard things, because theyāre coming anyway. And so if you go into them, youāre gonna get through them faster and itās gonna be quicker. And so I really love that analogy of just if something feels hard, it feels resistance, go into it, get it over with. Itās coming. The storm is coming. Letās just go into the freaking storm.
So I really like that and so now itās just like that kind of mantra of ābe the buffaloā and it kind of fits how I look at things of, you know, have hard conversations, talk about the things you donāt want to do, put yourself out of your comfort zone. Rip the Band-Aid off.
Amanda: Right. And a lot of that comes down to communication, too, which is a big thing in personal relationships, professional relationships, all of that. People are not communicating about the things that are scaring them or that are making things difficult, and they keep that part inside. And it causes friction because people are starting to get resentful about things that the other person has no idea about.
Danny: Oh yeah.
Amanda: People have that issue with confrontation, but thereās a friendly, polite way to have a confrontation with somebody. It doesnāt have to super aggressive and āYouāre making me do thisā and āI feel this wayā and all of that stuff. But just having that open communication with othersā¦
Danny: Yes! So we had this woman on our podcast named Renelle Nelson, and she is a counselor and she helps couples regain intimacy after an affair. And we were talking about affairs and how someone else comes into your relationship that shouldnāt be there. But she said thereās something that will destroy a relationship faster than any third party, and thatās judgment, assumption, and resentment.
And she said it in a different order, and I told my boyfriend this, and he goes, āOh. JAR. Judgment, Assumption, Resentment.ā And I was like, okay, sure. And then we kind of turned this into this analogy of, like if you have something in your jar, it builds up and builds up and turns into this mess. So we kind of started this thing where, like, we donāt always do it every Sunday but on Sunday weāre like, is there anything in the jar that you need to talk about?
Because those resentments build up. Those assumptions, you know, if heās not putting his clothes in the hamper and itās annoying me, so Iām sitting here judging him for doing it. Maybe Iām making an assumption that heās lazy or that he doesnāt care enough to do it. And then I start resenting him because Iām constantly picking up. That builds up and builds up and builds up, and if you donāt empty out that jar, then it turns into something even bigger and now Iām making assumptions that he just doesnāt care at all and now if he does any little thing Iām picking it apart.
And so itās exactly what you said. Itās having the communication and not letting those things build up because those things will crush any relationship. And not even just romantic relationships, but friendships, work environment, all of that. And so that JAR analogy has really stuck with me. When Iām starting to get resentful towards someone, I ask myself what is that about? Am I making a judgment or assumption? And maybe I need to bring that up to them because I could be completely wrong. And 90% of the time, the assumptions Iām making are wrong. Theyāre through my lens and theyāre not what the other person is thinking. And having that conversation smooths that out and then everyone can breathe normally instead of having that irritation.
Amanda: Right. And Iāve seen that happen a lot in the work world recently, and itās a lot with freelancer – I hear all these complaints: āWell, my client calls me at all hours of the dayā or āTheyāre sending me all this stuff on the weekends and they just expect me to do it.ā And itās like, did they tell you they expect you to do it? Because I have a lot of clients who do their work on weekends, and they want to get all of the stuff out of their head. So Iāll get a bunch of emails, but they know Iām not going to respond until Monday or later.Ā
And theyāre like, āWell, they just keep doing it.ā And itās like, but have you talked to them? Have you set any kind of boundaries that say hey, these are my office hours. Itās fine if you have communication afterwards, but could you email it instead of text it? Iāve had these conversations with clients and theyāre like, āOh, yeah, sorry. I didnāt realize,ā and theyāre perfectly fine with it. But if you donāt have that conversation, you start to think – well they disrespect me, and they donāt value what Iām doing, and theyāre just so demanding. And Iāve seen working relationships end over a conversation that was never had.
Danny: Totally! I mean, thatās just exactly it. Itās just an assumption. Theyāre assuming that they want it done at a certain time. And maybe they are, but you have to have the conversation to know. And, if you agreed to take on work and you are a freelancer, you can set your boundaries and give your client the expectation what to expect from you.
I think in any relationship, especially a working relationship, there needs to be – hereās my expectation of you, and hereās what you can expect from me. And if thereās any change, we need to have a discussion. Itās not always easy in working relationships, and it does take time and practice and open communication. I mean, so much can be solved in communication. So many things get assumed about another person that just arenāt true.
Amanda: A different kind of assumption, in kind of moving into where weāre at now – which is a really weird time in the world – has opened you up to sharing another one of your stories, which is when you had to file for bankruptcy. And at the time when this happened, you had made this kind of assumption to blame the recession. āThe economy tanked, thatās the reason that Iām in this situation.ā But what did you find out was actually the root of the issues?
Danny: Yeah, you know, this is such a good one because during COVID-19 a lot of people are gonna blame COVID-19 for everything. I mean, we might as well blame it for everything. Shoot. 2020 is just, like, gone.
But, you know, I was in Las Vegas during the Great Recession. And everyone, if you ask, they say 2008 was when everything happened. And I remember 2008. My parents were in the construction industry and housing, and that in Las Vegas especially was⦠the building was stopping. My mom got unemployed. My dad became unemployed. My uncleās company shut down. They were in construction and building and concrete. And I remember my mom saying, like, āThings are so bad, and unemployment is so high, and everyoneās losing their jobs.ā And I looked around me and, I would say, 8 out of 10 people that I knew in Las Vegas were either foreclosing on their home, filing bankruptcy, or doing a short sale.
And so this was happening around me. However, my business⦠I was a personal trainer, and you wouldāve thought that because training is a luxury people would drop that. But hereās what the weird thing that happened in Vegas. People stopped paying their mortgage because they could get away with it, and the banks couldnāt keep up and couldnāt kick people out, so they were not paying their mortgage for like, two years. And so a lot of those people still had their jobs and because now they werenāt paying $1200 a month, $2000 a month, they had all this extra money so they decided to hire me as a trainer because theyāre like hey, Iāve always wanted a trainer.
So my business was booming from 2008 to 2010. I was kind of like, well I guess Iām cool, this isnāt affecting me. So I continued to spend and, you know, live my life like normal. I donāt think I was a crazy spender, but I was putting in new countertops, upgrading the entire house, doing all that stuff with cash. And then around mid-2010 a lot of clients, suddenly the banks were kicking them out of their houses and they had to stop the game, right?Ā
So within a month I lost like 30 or 40% of my income and then it just kept trickling. I was losing clients all the time. They were like, āHey Danny, I canāt pay you anymore. Weāve gotta move back to Ohio or wherever weāre from. We canāt do this.ā And so suddenly it turned to where now Iām struggling to make my mortgage. And not only that, our house was worth half of what we owed, and I had put all this money into upgrading it.
So we were faced with this decision of, do we want to pay this mortgage, when the house is worth nothing and weāve put so much money into it? And so going back and forth, we talked to lots of lawyers and finally made the decision ourselves to not pay the rent for a year and foreclose on the home and file bankruptcy.
And then I had to move out of state to start a business with my girlfriend. That all fell apart. I was looking for any kind of job. I mean, I was applying to all kinds of things. And ultimately, my husband ended up getting a job for $35,000 a year in Texas. Iāve been in Vegas my whole life, never had any desire to go to Texas, and $35,000 a year was about what I made after college. So we had never lived on like that āsmallā amount. And I remember thinking it was so beneath us and yet we had to take it.
And so we moved out there, and this whole time I was just crying every day, blaming the economy. If this hadnāt have happened, if I just had more money, if we just made more money, then everything would be fine. And I really, truly believed that. I had some student loans, didnāt have massive debt. I think we had a $5,000 credit card, which we had used to fix the car that fell apart during all of this. And I had student loans still left over from my Masters.
But I felt like it was so unfair, like, I didnāt ask for the economy, for that to happen. You know, I was a good person. There were so many things that I thought shouldāve been different, and that money would fix everything. And I spent a lot of time on Google – Googling how to make more money, Googling how to win a car. I was entering every sweepstakes you could think of, and entering four names ā my dadās email, my momās email, my email, my husbandās email, like giving us four chances to win. I mean, I spent hours trying to win a car. By the way, I never won one.
But, I came across a woman who was really one of my first money mentors. I stumbled across her because I was Googling myself, and she had my same f*cking name. And the funny thing was, I had a Facebook page at the time, which had about 35,000 fans and I thought I was the sh*t because of this. And this woman was named Dani Johnson and she had 100,000 fans. And I was like, who is this bitch with my name and has more followers than me? And I started seeing her posts about money and mindset and debt, and I did a little more research and found out she was going to be in Dallas, where I happened to be living, the very next week.
So I was like, you know, Iām going to try to see this chick. I thought it was going to be this small event. It cost $400. I literally had just paid off⦠my credit card was maxed out and I had just made a payment of $500 to clear space. And I made this deal with myself. I was like, this is either the stupidest thing Iāve ever done, or itās gonna be the best thing. But I decided to charge the credit card again to go to this event that was supposed to teach about money and getting out of debt. And I went in there with every meaning to just get my $400 back. That is all I wanted to do. I was like, I need to get out of this situation. I donāt know how weāre going to make money again. I mean, we had six figures, we had three cars and a motorcycle, we had the car, we had it all. And I was like, why am I living in a one-bedroom apartment now on a $35,000 a year salary?
So what I learned was⦠so much is mindset. You know, one thing is that there are people who have an abundance mindset, and people who have a poverty mindset ā or, I should say, a fixed mindset. And a fixed mindset is someone whoās like, āWell, I grew up in this neighborhood and nothing is ever gonna changeā and āPeople like me donāt do wellā and āIf I try, nothing ever works.ā And someone with an abundance mindset is like, āOkay, I tried that. It didnāt work. Let me try something else.ā Or someone with a fixed mindset is gonna say, āWell, nobodyās hiring.ā Those were the things I was saying. āNobodyās hiring. I need more money.ā Versus an abundance mindset is like, āWhat kind of skills do I have? What can I do to try to make more money?ā Or, instead of saying, āI canāt afford it,ā saying, āHow can I afford that?ā And that shifts everything. You start to look for different possibilities.
And I was just stuck thinking, like, this is the economy, this is how it is, there are no jobs, nobodyās hiring, Iām overqualified. That wasnāt true. I had a lot of skills. One of the things that got me in the most trouble was my freaking ego. If I had maybe told people that I was struggling⦠I had so many friends, so many connections. Iām sure somebody wouldāve hooked me up with a job or introduced me to someone. But I didnāt want anyone to know I was struggling. I didnāt want anyone to know we got on food stamps. I didnāt want anyone to know we were moving away for this small job.
I had so much pride, and I learned that it was my ego. I learned that I wasnāt being faithful with what I had when I had the money. Like, during that 2008-2010 time, if I had been putting money into savings, and saving instead of putting it all into fixing the house, holy cow! There was so much property and real estate I couldāve snatched up. I wouldāve set myself up to be so wealthy, and yet I squandered it.Ā
And so really right now, and I will say this to people who are in 2020 who havenāt gotten hit yet, who maybe are like, āIām good. My job is stable.ā Like, this is the time to really be hanging on to that cash, ācause there likely will be, in 2023, opportunities that will be unbelievable if you have that money now. And not only that, thereās a domino effect. This may be slower. I mean, weāve just seen a bunch of rioting happen. And there are businesses that will never open again because theyāve been shut down for three months and now theyāre destroyed.
And so we have to be prepared that this might not have hit you today, but it doesnāt mean itās not coming. And so we have to be so faithful with what we have, mindful with what we have, instead of just thinking like everything will always be how it always was. Because itās just certainly not. And I just learned not only⦠you know, I think I was always taught to live within my means, but that really shifted a lot for me. I think that not only living within my means, but even living below my means, was more important. And I think because of the ego and having everything stripped away, some of the stuff mattered less to me, like having a nice car, or having a home. Realizing that can all go away, but also, you can always get it again. And so much less attached to having success, like the view of success on the outside. And I think so much of us, so many of us have that and think that way.
And so, yeah, COVID-19 happened. A lot of people have lost their jobs. A lot of people will never get that work back again. However, you have skills. You can do something about it. You can come back. You can come back stronger. I mean, there are people who are making so much money right now that have used this as an opportunity, and so can anyone else. So you have to learn to pivot, and know that your circumstances donāt create your outcome.
Amanda: Yeah. Itās that mindset right there. There are a lot of bad things happening, but those things can also create opportunities. And Iāve seen⦠there are people who are using this time to really develop different parts of their businesses and say, oh, I can do this online. And even on the personal side, this oneās a little different because people have been forced to stay home – a lot of people have. And those people are realizing how much money they actually spend on things like going out to eat, and their hair and their nails, and all these different things that are⦠thereās a place for those. But if youāre really serious about building that safety net and being financially comfortable, if not financially thriving. You have to make an active choice, and thereās sacrifice that comes with that sometimes, where maybe you donāt do all the fun things that you want, or maybe you donāt buy the brand new thing that comes out, but itās a series of choices.Ā
And a lot of people, unfortunately, focus on the blame side of it and why itās always somebody elseās fault, or another circumstance, and thatās the reason why theyāre in the situation. And there are always external forces. I always feel like I have to give a disclaimer that Iām not unsympathetic to what people are going through. But, I think now is one of those times where people⦠because everybody always knows. We need to have this money saved. We need to have a safety net. You should have six monthsā put aside. Everybody knows that. But a lot of people donāt do it.
Danny: Yeah.
Amanda: And now theyāre seeing what happens when you donāt have that.
Danny: Well, people always think āwhen.ā Like, when I make more, then Iāll do it. When I make more, then Iāll give. When I make more, then Iāll save. And the āwhenā never comes. You have to do it now. And people think that, like, when Iām rich, then Iāll be really generous. Well, if youāre not generous when you donāt have a lot, youāre not going to be generous when you have more.
And I think that a lot of us, too, have an entitlement problem and, like, a rebelliousness against discipline. And thereās a difference between discipline and deprivation. And so, Iāll say to someone, like āOkay, letās cut backā and theyāre like āWell, I donāt want to give up anything.ā Itās like, okay, thereās a difference between giving up something for what you want versus giving up something thatās deprivation, right?
Iām not the money person who tells people to cut coupons, and go on special shopping days, and Iām not trying to squeeze a penny out of every single dollar. But Iām also not the person who believes that making more money fixes everything, because we have so many instances of professional athletes making tens of millions a year who end up bankrupt within two years of retirement. So there is a place for both. We need to learn how to control our spending and to be able to create more, but ultimately it is being intentional with what we actually want our life to be.
So if someone says to me, āI have a dream to go to Italy, or Paris, and Iāve never been able to afford to go,ā and they are drinking Starbucks and then we look at their bank statements and they are spending $300 a month at Starbucks, and we add that up over the year⦠Letās just even say only $100 a month at Starbucks. Okay, $1200 a year ā thereās your roundtrip flight to Paris. And you cut out a few more things, thereās your roundtrip flight and your stay and your food. And so then you decide, do I want the Starbucks every day or do I want my trip to Paris?
Because when you hold it up towards what you really want, then itās easy to make the choice to be more disciplined. But if youāre just like, āDonāt take away my Starbucks. Thatās the one joy I have,ā fine! I donāt want to take your freaking joy away! Iām just saying if youāre telling me you want this, and you canāt have it, letās find a way that you can have it.
If youāre making multi-million dollars and youāre living off of $20,000 a year, eat every single meal out. Eat every meal out, go to Jack-in-the-Box, do whatever you want. Like, who cares. But if your lifestyle, if you want it to be different, you have to do something different. And most often, itās not about making more money, itās actually just reallocating the resources you have and making an intentional plan. Thatās it.
Amanda: Itās that deferred gratification – youāre maybe āgiving upā something right now, but you get something way better, even a short period of time later. Itās just getting into that mindset and realizing itās not⦠again, instead of focusing on the negative ā oh, well, now I canāt have this, and now I donāt get this ā itās like no, now you get to do this and now you can have this other thing!
Danny: Totally.
Amanda: You created this āFind the Moneyā project, and a lot of people Iām sure their first response is, āWell, I donāt have any money, so how am I supposed to pay for a program?ā But you give them a 7-day free challenge where people have these results. I know people have found $1000 or more by taking your challenge for free, just by doing a few little tricks that they can do easily at home that they just havenāt thought about yet. So how did that come about?
Danny: Yeah, so you know, after going through the bankruptcy and all of that, I⦠so mind you, I paid my way through school by myself, and then my Masterās degree I got a student loan. And so I think I had about a $35,000 student loan. And in about seven years I paid off about half of it. I still had $18,000 left and I had gone through this thing with Dani Johnson and really started just focusing on these things. And after I went to that workshop, I paid off the $18,000 in 69 days. Now, seven years to pay off $18,000 and then, like, seventy days to pay off $18,000. And this is when weāre only making $35,000 a year, not before when I was making six figures.
So I started to talk. I was so excited. I took my student loan thing and circled it and I posted it on social media, like itās paid off, student loan/debt-free! And people were like, āHow did you do it?ā And so I decided to do a webinar. I just thought everyoneās asking me, Iām gonna do this for my fitness community. I told them what I was doing, these little small things. And then Periscope came out, and this kind of like IG Live and Facebook Live. And I said, Iām gonna give you guys five tips. These are like the five main things.ā And then I created an opt-in, which is basically people give you their email to get the five tips. Because I had posted it once and people said, āCan you do it again? Can you do it again?ā I said, well, how about just send your email and Iāll send you the replay.
So I got like 1400 people to download that opt-in. And that was this idea of, oh, people really want to know about this stuff. So I thought, well, maybe we can do this together before Christmas. Letās do a challenge in November, try to find more money for Christmas money. And so I broke it down into 14 steps and it was a 30-day challenge, so every other day we did a step. And people were finding $1800, this one girl found like $10,000. I had people fill out surveys, and the average person found between $1800-$2200 in that month.Ā
And so, at the end of it, people are like, okay so now what? I was like I donāt know, I just thought this would be fun. And then Iām going shoot, well how can I monetize this? And how can I⦠like, itās not the end. Thereās a lot more to it.Ā
So once I became debt-free, I had a whole new set of problems. What do you do with your money? Where do you invest it? I donāt know what to do with it now. The goal was to get out of debt. Now what? And so thatās a whole new mindset. Becoming an investor is a new mindset.
So I surveyed people who went through the challenge. I got on the phone with many of them and I said, hey, what do you need? What do you still⦠what are you still curious about? What would help you? And then I created a course called āMaster Your Moneyā and put everything in there that I felt like people still needed.
Itās like, cool, you found some money in two weeks. Thatās great, but eventually some of those things are gonna run out. Like some of the things on there are basically like Geico – one call can save you ā like, make some calls and get your sh*t lowered, you know? So cool, you saved $15 a month or you saved $300 a month, but then what?
So my program turned into the āthen what?ā This is what you need to do now. Like now itās a practice. Now you need to really learn the discipline and learn the skills. Learn how to pay that debt off fast. Like how do you do the debt snowball? What are the pitfalls youāre gonna come across? āCause sometimes paying off debt gets you into more debt, ironically.
And so Iām trying to teach people how to do that mindfully and carefully so you donāt just screw yourself up again. And so yeah, thatās where it really came from. It just turned into this. I shared my story, as I do, and then people asked for more and I gave more. And then it was like then what? And Iām like oh, I guess this isnāt the end.
And I think part of being a content creator is really listening to your audience and seeing what they want and what they need and how you can help fill that. And then really asking ā like, I did those surveys, and I asked people very specific questions. And then even after, and during the course. Iāve updated this course. I just updated it again in 2020 with new stuff. The Coronavirus changed things as well – it changed some strategies as far as what to pay off right now, what to hold on to right now. And people are in different circumstances. So I addressed that in my private group with them, and I think itās important to stay on the pulse. But also just to serve in a way that people need and that theyāre asking for.
Amanda: Yeah. And that kind of ties in to that thing about ego before, because so many people are like, I know whatās best for everyone, so this is what Iām going to do. And then they put all this time putting together some kind of program or online course or something else, and then nobody buys it. And then of course it turns into, ānow Iām the victim because my product didnāt work, but I know they need this.ā And itās like, but did you ask them?
Danny: Yes!
Amanda: When we talked about communication, did you ask your clients, or your potential clients, what they need? And theyāre like, āyeah ,but I know this is the problem.ā Okay, wellā¦
Danny: Yep, well thereās a thing in marketing thatās like, sell them what they want, give them what they need. So sometimes thatās the problem, is we do know what they need, but they think they need something else. So, you know, and Iāve struggled with this even in my marketing and āFind the Money,ā and Iāve tweaked it over the years, is a lot of times people just think they need more money. And I know thatās not the case. I know that they can do a lot with what they already have.
And then, once they know how to manage that, then f*ck, letās pour gasoline on the fire and make more money. But if youāre mismanaging your small amount, youāre gonna mismanage a large amount, too. But I have to position it in a way that they will make more money, they will find more money and that itās going to help them do that, which it will. But itās tricky. Itās like when I was in fitness, a lot of times people come to you and they just want to lose weight. Theyāre saying, āI want to lose weight. I want to feel, you know, be skinny. I want to fit in these pantsā or whatever. And Iām like, I know they just need to change their mindset. They need to do some work around body image. Maybe they need to do some work around food stuff. But theyāre not gonna buy my āFix Your Mindsetā program. Theyāre going to buy the program that helps them have fat loss.
So itās like I market it towards what they want, and then in the program Iām twisting in those mindset pieces that they need. And youāre so right. Asking people what they want, and using their language, and then if you think they need something else, how can you tie that into the lessons and tie that into the learnings to show them? You have to create a bridge from where they are to where theyāre gonna be. But if youāre over here trying to get them to see⦠Theyāre still on the other side of the bridge. They need to cross that and they need to have the same epiphany that maybe you had.
And Iāve seen the same as you. Iāve seen so many people create courses first. And Iāll tell you, when I created āMaster the Money,ā I actually sold it before I made it. I sold the outline, to be quite honest. I wasnāt even sure⦠ācause I was like, I donāt know if anyoneās gonna buy it. I mean, I did this free challenge. People loved it. But Iāve never sold a money course, Iāve only done fitness stuff. So I did a webinar. I said, hereās this course Iām doing. Itās 90 days. This is whatās in it.
And then I sold $35,000 and I was like, shoot, I guess I better make this thing. Now Iām on the hook! And then I released a module every ten days, ācause I was like okay, Iāve gotta make the content this week, and next week Iāve gotta make the content. And I was like okay, every ten days you get new modules. And I freaking made it as I went along. And now itās done. But I didnāt know.
And so Iām really one to say, like, if youāre creating courses or content, sell it first and then release it because then you donāt waste your time, like you said. Then youāre not the victim of, like, nobody wants my thing. If you sell it and nobody bought it, then shoot, you donāt waste your time making the whole thing.
Amanda: Right. And I run into the same stuff in the mindset work with my business coaching. And itās that thing where people are like, āOh, well I need help with my bookkeepingā or āI need to figure out how to do thisā and āI donāt have enough timeā and āI donāt have enough moneyā and all those things. And itās the exact same thing. Itās like, well, hereās how⦠I mean, here are some things that can help with that, but really itās all that mindset. And somebody told me that Iām a business therapist. And I was like, that actually makes a lot of sense because itās not just about the details of managing a business. Itās how are you thinking about things? And are you keeping that positive attitude? And I know some people get all weird about having a positive mindset, but Iām the annoying optimist. And I know from my own experience things work out, but you have to believe that they will.
And itās the same thing. When youāre creating a course and youāre selling it before youāve even made it, thereās some faith right there that this is going to work, or itās not. But if it does work, I know that I can deliver that one module a week because I have to at that point.
Danny: Yeah, thereās nothing like putting yourself on the hook, and then also using that money to make it good. Iām always thinking that perfectionism is the worst enemy of anything – because you want to make it perfect first, you want to make it look right, but then you donāt have the money to do it, so then you donāt start. People get in that loop, too. Like, āI want to create this course, but I need a videographer, and I need thisā and itās like, make a rough draft and then you upgrade. So my first course, all of it was done on my iPhone. And then I updated it and I upgraded and then I still used my iPhone, to be honest. No, we used a GoPro on the last one. But it was still like, you know, we had lights the second time. But, honestly, it was now that I had the money from the course, now I could use that money to make it a little better. And then the next time I can use the money to hire someone to do more graphic design. And the next time I sold it, I could upgrade it every time so it was a little better every time.
But youāve gotta start somewhere and if youāre in this spiral of āI donāt have the money to make it,ā āI canāt make it unless I have the money.ā Itās like you go nowhere. So you have to go, how about I just try to sell it first and see what happens. All you need to create now is a landing page and a way to collect payment. And Iāll tell you, even this. Back in the day, this was when I was on Sweaty Betties, I just threw PayPal links up on my stupid blog. I mean, there was no sales page. There was no sales copy. It was just like, hey, if you want this go to my blog, click the PayPal button, and then Iāll email it you.Ā
I mean this⦠thereās ways to make it happen. And itās okay, everybody starts somewhere. You donāt have to be professional. You donāt have to be like Marie Forleo, or Tony Robbins, or whoever youāre looking at and comparing yourself to. They have a team. They have the resources. If you donāt, you donāt. But you just have to start somewhere.
Amanda: They didnāt have all that stuff when they started either. And I think it comes down to being honest with yourself. How badly do you actually want it? Do you want it enough that youāre willing to do what it takes to get there? Or do you just say you want it but you like having the excuses, because then you have a reason for why itās not happening? And thatās⦠a lot of things people donāt want to hear. Itās really tough sometimes. And thatās why I tell people I can be a little bit ātough loveā because I will say that. And I know you, from just knowing you and then from your podcast, youāre very blunt with people. Youāre very direct, and in a kind way, but itās helping people realize, like, no. Stop making the excuses. Letās work on the solutions instead of the problems.
Danny: Yep. You know, I was called out on my bullsh*t when I was 15-16, so, you know. You mentioned that I had a daughter when I was 15, and I knew you back then, which was so crazy, but I remember, at that time I felt like everything was happening to me. My mom and I did not get along. We had a family member in my house that I didnāt want there. I mean, there was so much, just so much turmoil. And I had a social worker who was helping me through the adoption. And I would constantly be complaining to my mom. And she was like, okay, well, you know, sheād bring up some things like, āWhat about me?ā And I was like, āThis isnāt about me! This is her fault!ā You know, like, pointing the finger and never looking in the mirror. And sheās like, āYou have aā¦ā And she did agree. Sheās like, āOkay, your mom does have these issues and, like, sheās not the best but youāre at home so what are we going to do about it? You know, until youāre 18, this is what youāre stuck with.ā
And she made me read āManās Search for Meaningā by Viktor Frankl. And āManās Search for Meaningā is a book. This man was a psychiatrist and he was in the Holocaust in a concentration camp. And he was, like, just an observer while he was there and seeing like who would survive and who would die. And he said the people who were surviving, theyād find some kind of meaning, theyād find some kind of reason to be alive. And not only that, he said that the guards, or the, I donāt know, officers or whatever, could take away everything. Take away their clothes, shave their hair, take away their food. But they couldnāt control their thoughts. They couldnāt control what they thought about and how they perceived things.
And so, that was like this, you know, Iām 16 years old reading this, and I was like, oh. You know, the way Iām looking at this⦠Like, my mom canāt control my thoughts. I thought she was. I was like, sheās making me mad. She was like, no one can make you mad unless you choose to be mad. And that is a tough pill to swallow when you want to be justified. You know, your anger feels justified. You want to be angry.
My ex-husband, when he had the affair, I was like itās his fault for the divorce. You know, I didnāt do this. I didnāt choose this. But, Iām stuck with the consequences anyway. So I have to go, do I want to be a bitter, pissed off single woman, or do I want to be someone whoās open to a new relationship, who can let this go, who can be forgiving? And you have to decide who you want to be. And it is a tough pill to swallow when we admit or realize that we are in control of our own perception. But it is also so powerful. And a lot of times people donāt want to hear that or reconcile it.
Amanda: And I always say that even through the worst situations, as long as you take some kind of lesson out of it, as long as you learn and youāre using it in some kind of positive way⦠And in that particular situation, tell us about your relationship with your daughter now.
Danny: I know. So itās been so cool. She… so I placed her for adoption. We had her for about seven days. I was in the hospital like three or four of those. And then sheād stay with a foster family for two nights, and then weād spend time with her at the agency. But we picked a family for her. And I had, in my mind, I always wanted to meet her. But it was not an open adoption, so I had to wait until she was 18.
And then when she turned 18, I was kind of like, okay. I remember the day before her birthday. Like I didnāt⦠I knew nothing would really change, but I was just thinking maybe something would. And, of course, the day passed. But there was that, okay now itās possible to meet. And I actually, through a mistake of the agency, had been connected to her adoptive father, and we had stayed in contact throughout the years and heād tell me what she was up to.
And so I reached out to him and I asked where she was, and I wanted to get her address to send her a birthday present for her 18th birthday. And I waited until she moved to college, because her birthday was in June, waited until she was out of the house, sent some gifts to the dorm. And then I got no response. I was like, well, f*ck.Ā
And it was really hard. It was just, you know I didnāt know what to expect. I also realized that sheās young and she has feelings. Like, Iāve known her her whole life. She has not known me. And I finally got a response from her and she just said she was really overwhelmed, and she wasnāt sure what to do. And she said she was asking her friends, like should she meet me, should she not, and she said they all just told her, do what you want. And she goes, āI just wish somebody would tell me what to do.āĀ
And so I kind of took that as a sign and I was like, well maybe I should tell her what to do. So, in a gentle way⦠I found out she was back in California. I happened to be going to California for a speaking event. And I sent her an email, I said āHey, Iām going to be in town. We should meet up on Thursday or Friday.ā And she just responded back, āSure.ā And I was like, oh my God, I didnāt think sheād answer.
So we ended up meeting, which was amazing, like just one of the most beautiful experiences of my life. And we wear wearing, like literally we were both wearing Chucks, both wearing overalls, I was like we are freaking twins right now. And it was so cool, like we talked for two hours and she just kept smiling and nodding. And I was like, āWhy are you smiling?ā and she goes, sheās like, āThatās just me. Thatās exactly me.ā And it was just really cool to see, like the nature/nurture and the biological connection.
And, after that, we kind of didnāt talk for almost a year, and then her biological dad came back to the states and I took her to meet him. And then we just slowly built a relationship. Iāll tell you, it was weird at first because⦠Itās like if you have a crush on somebody and you want to text them every day, but you donāt want to be weird so youāre like trying not to. Thatās exactly how I felt with her. Iām like, I want to say hi, and how are you doing? And Iām like nope, stay back, be cool. But that was 2016 in May, and so itās been four years.Ā
And now sheās actually the editor of my podcast. She gets to listen to me every freaking week in her ears, whether she wants to or not. But itās been really, really amazing because weāve slowly⦠weāve been able to develop more of a friendship over time. And, because of the podcast, sheās been able to get to know me through editing and listening to the stories. And so itās really, really cool. Sheās actually in LA now, and Iām in LA a lot of the time, so Iām able to see her off and on.
And whatās been really special is I finally got to meet her mom last Motherās Day. And the last couple months, her mom started a business and Iāve been getting on Zoom and kind of doing some, like, helping coach her mom in her business, which has been really fun to just kind of⦠Itās really come full circle and itās been really, really special.
Amanda: So many parts of your story are incredible. But itās that idea that what seems tragic at the timeā¦
Danny: Yeah.
Amanda: If you do things the right way and you keep open to possibilities, some really great things could happen. Sometimes it takes 18 years.
Danny: Yeah, you know, thatās just it. You canāt necessarily always judge a circumstance on what it looks like right now. And thatās⦠You know, even like whatās happening in the world right now with Coronavirus, with the George Floyd case. I mean, what if this George Floyd case and all the rioting and all this finally gets things done that needed to be done for equality? Like what if this tragedy turns into something that finally fixes whatās broken?
And so we just donāt know, and we donāt know the domino effect that it has. And honestly, at that time, that was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. It was the hardest thing Iād ever been through. It was something that Iād never forgotten and thought about every single day. Every single month on the 25th I thought of her. Every single year on June 25th Iād think of where is she at. And I never knew if I did the right thing. And now itās turned into the greatest blessing.
And yeah, sometimes it takes 18 years. Sometimes we never know, and itās someone elseās lesson. But I think that there are always things that we canāt know. And for me, itās been a lesson in trust. Trusting that the things that happen, even though they may seem terrible⦠Like the bankruptcy. Next thing. I was like, this is the worst thing that could ever happen in my life. If I hadnāt have gone through that, I wouldnāt have probably taken so strong of notes on what I needed to do different with my money. And now I wonāt go down that path again.
Like, sometimes we have to go through the hard sh*t to learn the hard lessons.
Amanda: You can rewrite your story if you donāt like the one youāre telling yourself right now.
Danny: 100%.
Amanda: I could talk to you for hours. I started this podcast and Iām like, Iām going to do short episodes. But I want to thank you for your time and Iām sure⦠weāll have to do this again because there are so many things.
Danny: Yep.
Amanda: Where can everybody find you? Go push all your stuff on everybody now.
Danny: Yeah! I spend the most time on Instagram. Itās @DannyJDotCom. D-A-N-N-Y like a boy and then spelled DotCom, d-o-t-c-o-m, because my last name is Johnson and thereās already a Dani Johnson out there, as we know, and thatās not me. So @DannyJDotCom, and then you can email me danny@dannyj.com. Iām @DannyJDotCom everywhere ā Twitter, Facebook ā but Instagram is probably where Iām at the most. Iām in the DMs. Iām in the stories a lot.
Amanda: Are any of your programs available right now or are you in between?
Danny: You know, Iām in between launches. However, FindTheMoneyProject.com is always up and open, and thereās emails that youāll still get to help you out there. And then I also have a 21-day Money Mindset journal. Itās $7 and itās at 21DayJournal.com, and that really helps with a lot of the mindset stuff. I felt like the 7-day challenge got a lot of the practical stuff. But the journal really helps you get through some of the deeper mindset stuff, and things that maybe are holding you back that you donāt really realize. So I have those available. And you can always email me if youāre curious, because Iāll let people in at different times. I just tend to do it like all at once a couple times a year.
Amanda: Well, Danny J, thank you so much for being here.
Danny: Thank you.